Finding the Third Way - A Key to Innovation

The orange cut in half - a symbol of how we solve problems when we stop asking better questions.

There’s a bit of a cheesy story I like to share in my workshops:

Two sisters are fighting over an orange.

“I want the orange!”

“No, you got the last orange. I get this one!”

Their dad overhears and walks in to resolve the situation. He listens to both sides, takes the orange, and does what many parents might do…

No, he doesn’t eat it.He cuts it in half.

“There. Now you each get half.”

It’s compromise. It seems fair. Everyone gets something. Conflict resolved, right?

Later, Dad opens the compost bin and finds something curious: half an orange’s worth of peel, and half an orange’s worth of fruit.

Turns out one sister wanted the orange for its juice. The other needed the peel for a cake she was baking.

If they’d just talked about what they really needed - if someone had asked a better question - they could have both gotten 100% of what they wanted from the same orange.

I heard this little story years ago but I love how readily it shows us the limitations of our thinking in most situations, and it reminds me that there may be options yet. 

Stuck in Either/Or

We’re conditioned to think in binaries.

Right or wrong. This way or that. Do or don’t. Yes or no.

Binary thinking helps us move fast. It keeps things simple, but it also closes doors.

When we limit ourselves to only two choices, we miss the spaces in between and around. And it’s in these spaces that innovation lives.

Compromise might seem like progress, but it’s often a lose-lose - no one gets exactly what they came for.

There might be other ways to solve our problems, but we need to loosen our grip on the obvious choices to even begin seeing them.

The Third Way Isn’t Always Obvious - But It’s Often Better

Third-way thinking is the ability to pause in the face of a conflict, challenge, or choice and ask:

“What if there’s another way?”

It’s foundational to:

Adaptability (especially when the environment shifts)

Third-way thinking helps us stay flexible when conditions change unexpectedly. For example, a school moves to remote learning, and teachers are forced to choose between replicating the traditional classroom online or abandoning key parts of the curriculum. But one teacher asks, “What if I reimagine this experience entirely?” She creates short, project-based learning units that students can complete offline and share online - leading to deeper engagement than before.

Problem-Solving (when none of the current options feel right)

Third-way thinking unlocks new paths when the current ones all seem like dead ends. Imagine a city is struggling with rising traffic congestion. Leaders debate: should they widen the roads or increase tolls? Neither is popular. Then someone suggests: “What if we build out protected bike lanes and incentivize cycling to school and work?” It shifts the problem from managing cars to reimagining transportation.

Innovation (when the goal is to create something better, not just choose what’s available)

Third-way thinking drives breakthroughs by refusing to accept existing limits.

Think about a startup that’s trying to build a better toothbrush, competing in a crowded market. They can’t beat the big brands on price or features. Instead, they ask, “What if the toothbrush came with an app that gamifies brushing for kids?” Something completely different that what already exists. 

Third-way thinking doesn’t settle into what already seems to be. Finding the third way is about stretching to create something new. 

How to Practice Third-Way Thinking

Here are three practical ways to get better at finding possibilities beyond the obvious.

1. Ask “What If?” more often

The third question in the In•Possibility Framework is simple:

“What if?”

It’s amazing how this question fires up the imagination and how quickly we can generate possibilities. 

Instead of asking, “Which one should I choose?”

Try:

• What if the best option hasn’t been named yet?

• What if I could combine the best parts of both?

• What if I brought in someone who sees this differently?

2. Zoom Out to First Principles

In conflict we often argue about the “what” without ever naming our “why”.Just like the sisters with the orange.

To practice finding other possibilities, it’s helpful to zoom out and look at the big picture:

• What am I really trying to create here?

• What outcome am I hoping for?

  
  

This shift helps us move from defending ideas to designing solutions.

Whether you're stuck in a creative rut or a relationship standoff, returning to your deeper “why” can break the deadlock and make room for a third way to emerge.

3. Practice with Dilemmas

Third-way thinking is a skill, and like any skill, it sharpens with repetition.

One of my favourite ways to practice this type of thinking is with ethical dilemmas. If you’re not familiar, I suggest starting with the famous Trolley Problem:

A runaway trolley is heading toward five people tied to the tracks. You can pull a lever to divert it onto another track - where it will hit one person instead.

Do you pull the lever?

Dilemmas are situations where there are no perfect outcomes. I always find it interesting just how fast my mind starts trying to find other options to solve the hypothetical crises. 

These mental puzzles help to train your brain to look for hidden possibilities where the obvious answers are uncomfortable.

So, What’s Your Orange Right Now?

Think of a situation where you feel stuck between two choices.

What if you’re asking the wrong question?

What if you’re missing something?

What if there’s another way?

It will take curiosity, creativity, and courage to sit in uncertainty a little longer, but you will discover new possibilities where others see dead ends.