Knowing vs Going the Solutions to Our Problems

A few simple exercises could transform our well-being - this is common knowledge, but not less often common practice. Photo by VD Photography on Unsplash

Getting stuck is such a fascinating thing.

One of my friends has had sore hips for a few years now. At first, he chalked it up to age and accepted it as just “part of life.” His partner eventually grew tired of the constant complaints and urged him to see a doctor… a chiropractor… a physiotherapist - anyone who might help.

So eventually he went. The doctor referred him to a physiotherapist, who quickly diagnosed the problem. The PT prescribed a set of simple daily exercises that would take just 20 minutes a day to strengthen and mobilize the muscles around his aching joints. The pain would ease, his posture would improve, and he could get his life back.

Hurray! A cure!

You’d think, anyway.

But it turns out it’s not enough to know the solution - you have to actually go the solution. My friend has had the plan for a month now. He knows exactly what to do but he hasn’t done the exercises. And so… the pain continues, the problem persists. 

The Psychology of Getting Stuck

This reminds me of something I first learned about in an undergrad psych course: learned helplessness. In the 60s Martin Seligman ran experiments with dogs who were repeatedly exposed to pain they couldn’t avoid. Eventually, even when escape was possible, the dogs stopped trying. They had learned to feel helpless.

Humans do this too. Depression, anxiety, and other challenges can make us believe we have no control over outcomes. When that belief takes hold, suffering becomes familiar, and sometimes familiarity feels safer than change.

I don’t know if my friend’s lack of follow-through is learned helplessness, but it rhymes with the pattern. Pain can become a weird kind of comfort, because the alternative requires stepping into uncertainty and forming new habits. What if the change brings more pain? At least this pain is manageable, but trying something new might hurt me more, or differently.

Where Do We Do This?

Thinking about my friend’s predicament had me reflecting on my own situation. 

Where are the places in my life where I already know the answer but haven’t acted on it?

In my speaking business, I’ve hired multiple coaches, paid for consultants, and bought shiny systems for sales and marketing. I’ve done plenty of “solution-seeking.” I learned a lot of brilliant ideas and practices. 

But too often I fell back into the way I’d always done things. It was more comfortable and familiar and, frankly, easier. 

I can pick out examples regarding my physical and mental wellbeing just like this - where I’ve known the way but haven’t gone the way. 

I suspect I’m not alone.

How often do we find ourselves feeling a bit stuck in a pattern of thinking or behaving that we know isn’t serving us? We suffer along because it’s comfortable and familiar, even if we know the very thing we need to do to transform our experience?

From Knowing to Going

The only way to get unstuck is to move. The plan doesn’t need to be perfect. You don’t need more information or research. There’s almost no such thing as “feeling ready”. 

Action is the antidote. Even the smallest step can shift the pattern. Sometimes the step we take is in the right direction and we solve our challenge and cure our pain. Sometimes the step is in a worse direction, in which case we learn what not to do and step into another direction. Every time you make the choice to go, you teach yourself that you’re not helpless - you’re capable of change.

My friend is stuck in his hip pain because he hasn’t taken any action. He knows the exercises. They’re written out for him. But until he puts twenty minutes on the calendar and does the first rep, nothing changes. That’s the paradox - he knows the solution, but he doesn’t know how to start.

The truth is, starting is just starting. There’s no official “starting line,” no perfect moment when everything will align. We have to start where we are.

You might be a high-performing executive, a budding entrepreneur, or an experienced educator, but no matter who you are, I bet there are ways you’re feeling stuck in your life or work.

Choose one of those areas - perhaps one where you already have the solution - and take action this week. Make one small move that will make the difference.

It’s not enough to know the way. We must be willing to go the way. That’s how we solve problems, and just as importantly, how we build the belief that we can solve the next one.